Finn's Christmas Dilemma (Holiday Hunks Book 3) Read online

  He grit his teeth and forced back his urge to scream at her. “If you had chosen to be a friend instead of a conniving manipulator, I might have done what I could. But you not only abused my friendship, but thanks to your lies and sexual innuendos on Instagram, I have lost the only woman I ever wanted.”

  “Good!” Maya shrieked at him. “You deserve it.”

  Finn stood and spoke in a taut voice simmering with suppressed fury. “Maya, I could sue you for using my name and likeness without my permission, especially since it was in an exploitative manner. And if you ever so much as mention me on any of your accounts again, you will here from my lawyer.” He walked to the door, saying over his shoulder, “Casey, the duet’s in good enough shape. I’m taking a break for a few days. I’ll be back for dress rehearsal.”

  Both women sat frozen in tense silence as he stepped out of the office.

  Finn was grateful no one was in the men’s dressing room when he got there, giving him time to cool his jets. On his way out he saw Josh and Jenna lounging in the lobby.

  “Did you reach Nolan about the mob flash dance at Times Square?”

  “I did,” Finn said. “I’m joining it. You want to do it?”

  “I do,” Jenna said with her usual exuberance. “Are they including women?”

  “Sure,” Finn said. “Although he wants as many male dancers as possible.”

  “I’m in,” Josh said.

  “Yay!” Jenna bounced on her heels. “You guys can stay at my place. Aiden is in the UK doing research.” Jenna’s husband was a crime novelist.

  “Sounds good,” Finn said. “Thanks.”

  Jenna beamed. “Remember that time the three of us did the walking tour of the Christmas window displays? Let’s do it again. And you know what else is fun?”

  As Jenna babbled about things she wanted to do with them, Finn’s black mood lifted. As long as he didn’t think about Trinity.

  Chapter 8

  Dancers everywhere. Despite the cold but luckily clear weather, the streets were teeming with a few hundred of them. Mostly men, but there were also some women, like Jenna, who joined in solidarity with Finn and Josh for the flash dance mob ballet class held on the streets and sidewalks in front of New York City’s Times Square.

  Nolan Harkness, Finn’s buddy from the Broadway stage, led the group, but he insisted Finn stand right in front with him.

  Dance had always given Finn a feeling of being more fully alive, and he guessed that had been the addiction for him as a teen. That total immersion in a challenging, precise, and strenuous muscular effort while wrapped inside a musical roadmap. Today it was more exhilarating than ever. Like a big F-you to the Ray Atkins bullies of this world, not to mention Finn’s own father.

  Phone cams that posted the event on Instagram and Twitter were everywhere. But most important were the news cameras and reporters that would get the message to the public. And hopefully to any boy who wanted to dance.

  Afterward, Finn being a TV celeb with a household name, he had several microphones shoved at his face. That was when Nolan grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

  “I just got a call from Hello All,” he said, excitement on his voice. “Dana Stephens wants me to come on her show so she can make a public apology.”

  “Whoa. Great news.” Finn threw a fist pump into the air.

  “I want you to be part of the interview.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. Most people across the country have never been to a Broadway show, so the fact that I’ve been starring in them for years is meaningless. I’m still a Martian. But I’d guess the majority of Hello All viewers will know who you are.”

  “Okay, sure. When is the taping?”

  “Tomorrow morning. I’m also going to invite Jorge Carreras, so we’ll have a ballet dancer, along with you and me representing Broadway and TV. Nice balance, huh?”

  Jenna and Josh did their goofy whoops over the news. Still wired from the experience, the three of them grabbed some takeout sandwiches and headed to Jenna’s apartment on the Upper West side where she lived with her novelist husband who was away on a research trip.

  After a long hot muscle-warming shower, Finn made himself at home in one of the guest rooms. Lying supine on the bed, he found his thoughts going back once again to his argument with Trinity. She’d been unfair, not even considering his side of the story. No way would he call her, but could he ever get her out of his mind and heart?

  A knock on his door made him sit up. “Come in.”

  Jenna sauntered in saying, “Let me see what you’ve got to wear for the interview on Hello All tomorrow. Since you’ve got to be there at the crack of dawn, we better decide now if you need to go out and buy something.

  He set his duffle bag on the bed and pulled out some things. “Figuring I wouldn’t be doing anything but maybe taking a dance class and hanging out with you and Josh, I didn’t bring any nice clothes with me.”

  Jenna selected a pair of jeans and tee and handed them to him. “Go put these on.”

  Not wanting to miss any excitement, Josh showed up and was sitting on a stool in the corner when Finn walked out of the bathroom.

  “What do you think, Jenna? Can I wear this for the TV interview or do we need to go shopping?”

  Jenna studied him, straightened the collar of his tee, brushed lint off the leg of his jeans, then said, “Casual is good, but this is a bit too casual.”

  “Well, we were gonna go see the midtown window displays anyway,” Josh said.

  “So, we might as well dress up out celebrity while we’re there.”

  “Hey, this is NYC. Jenna’s the celebrity here.”

  She gave him a goofy curtsy and said, “I don’t have any food for you carnivores, but if you don’t mind vegetarian tacos, I could heat those up before we go.”

  The three of them gobbled up the tacos and then took a cab to midtown. Amid teasing and joking, Finn settled on a new pair of black jeans and a slim-fit long-sleeved Henley.

  Dusk had fallen and on came the lights and colors of the Christmas displays.

  At a time when so many people were shopping online, it was encouraging to see some stores that were still alive and well. Jenna loved the dreamy blue lighting in the windows at Saks. Macy’s had colorful reds and golds with a still life of toys and wrapped gifts. Bloomingdale’s featured a children’s story theme. Lord and Taylor’s, Barney’s, Tiffany’s, Bergdorf Goodman… Some were magical, others modern, some had music.

  And each one made Finn think of Trinity and the time when they were twelve years old and their two mothers brought them into the city to the Radio City Music Hall show and they did the walking window tour of the store windows afterward. But Finn reminded himself that his relationship with Trinity had collapsed years ago and it was time he let go.

  Yeah, they’d had some great sex and fun laughs over the last few weeks, but that did not mean they were the soul mates he had always imagined they were. The deep connection he’d believed they had was obviously one-sided. She didn’t have a clue who he was and apparently he didn’t know the real Trinity either.

  He was the one who went to her cafe and asked to start being friends again. Would she have ever contacted him if he hadn’t? Would she have been content to never see him again? Guess not. She was the one who’d called it quits.

  It was time for him to stop carrying around that stupid fantasy of the girl from his childhood because, as he told Trinity before he walked away—that girl did not exist.

  Finn watched as Josh snapped photos of the window displays and sent them off to someone. Finn had purposely left his phone in his duffle bag all day. He did not want to hear from anyone, not Casey or Maya and especially not Trinity. These few days were supposed to be an escape, a way to refresh and reboot.

  But that night as Finn got ready for bed in Jenna’s guest room, he realized Nolan might have tried to reach him about the TV interview. He checked his phone messages and noticed a text he had missed this afternoon—from
Trinity.

  It said nothing about being sorry or wrong or about anything resembling love or missing him. Just Trinity asking him to call her.

  Then he noticed a voice mail message from her that came in only about a half hour ago: “I want to talk. Please call me.”

  So now Trinity wanted to talk. When he stood on her porch—and she did not even invite him in—when he stood there begging her to hear his side, she did not want to talk. And now that she was ready to talk Finn was supposed to jump at her call.

  It was too reminiscent of their high school days when she would call him when it was convenient. When her in-crowd entourage was not around—and ignore him when they were. Well, now Finn was spending time with his own entourage—the extended dance family he’d built around himself over the years—so he ignored her messages and went to bed.

  * * *

  The next morning Finn got both Josh and Jenna into the station to watch the Hello All show live, and then proceeded to his prep. Being on camera was nothing new to him and he was able to give some pointers to Nolan and Jorge who were primarily stage performers.

  Dana Stephens turned out to be a considerate and gracious host and seemed truly sorry she had insulted men and boys of the dance world. Finn thought it took character to admit making a mistake and he told her so.

  The two men with him shared stories from their past about being humiliated for choosing to study dance. Finn was used to joking and entertaining on Dance Time, and did not exactly like the idea of revealing any personal history on TV.

  Unlike Finn, his two friends would go back to their private lives after this, their tales most likely forgotten. But for Finn, it was routine to see stories about him—both true and false—all over the net, and anything he said would make the rounds. So he decided to skirt that issue and did his best to just support his friends’ points.

  It was all going really well, and then Dana surprised him by saying, “A point I’d like to make is that men who dance professionally are really sexy, whether they are gay or straight. I know Mikhail Baryshnikov had many lovers, including Jessica Lang in her prime, and Natalie Portman sure fell for Benjamin Millepied. And, Finn, when I looked you up online, you appeared with one beauty after the next. So, who is your latest?”

  Caught like a deer in the headlights, Finn’s mind raced through his thoughts for an entertaining deflection. Dana’s comment was exactly the kind of thing that would make Trinity think Maya’s posts were true. And he’d bet Trinity had heard he was on the show and was watching it.

  The part of Finn that was still angry at her wanted to say something that would support that notion, purposely coming off as a player to rub it in Trinity’s face. To let her see that the tables had turned and that he didn’t need her—just as she had not needed him during those painful teenage years.

  But Finn hated people who acted like that, who wielded whatever power they had over others. Instead he found himself wondering if there was something he could say that would prove he was not a player. Except he did go from one woman to the next a lot. Did that mean—

  Jorge’s laughter brought Finn out of his thoughts, and he realized that he’d let his silence go on way too long. Dana’s flirtatious “aha” grin said it all.

  And Nolan came to the rescue with, “Are you trying to get this boy in trouble? You know if he names one woman the rest will all make him pay.”

  * * *

  Trinity cried herself to sleep for two nights and drove herself crazy trying to figure out if she was being unfair (according to Caroline), or smart (according to Brina). So it was unrealistic to expect her mom not to notice something was wrong.

  This morning Cheryl Collins made her regular cookie delivery to the cafe, and as usual, they sat down to share a mother-daughter coffee moment before Three Girls opened for the day.

  “What’s wrong, Trinity?”

  “Gee, I thought you might at least wait until we were on our second cup.”

  “Why should I? After what you’ve been through, I have a right to worry.”

  “Well, don’t.” Trinity sipped her coffee, not sure what to say. “I’m not going to fall down the rabbit hole.”

  That was the trouble with being a rehab alumnus. People expected you to turn to drugs or alcohol every time something went wrong. Sure, it was a possibility and some did, but that did not mean Trinity would, or that she liked to be seen that way.

  “Is it Finn?” her mom asked.

  She looked out the window, trying to decide how much to tell, then figured her mother would find out soon enough. “We broke up.”

  “Did he do something to upset you?”

  “That’s just it. I don’t know.” She bit into a pumpkin peanut butter cookie. Yeah, Finn’s favorite.

  “What’s that supposed to mean? How can you not know?”

  Trinity told her mother about what she’d found on the internet and the argument she and Finn had over it. “I don’t know whether or not to believe him. He denied it and got angry at me for not believing him, so now even if I changed my mind he might be finished with me. I thought he might call and at least try to tell me why I’m wrong, but I haven’t heard from him at all.”

  “Are you in love with him? It hasn’t been all that long since you got reacquainted.”

  “Oh, Mom.” She looked down at her hands. “In the last few weeks we connected in a way that we used to. We have this spontaneous chemistry that I’ve never had with anyone else. And it’s not only that. Being with him is like going home, like being in a special place that only the two of us understand.”

  “Sounds kind of like the way you two were when you were kids.”

  “It is, only much better because as adults we’re conscious of what’s going on and we’ve become much more than friends.” Trinity shrugged. “But I don’t want to be played for a fool either. I know how men can be. Especially those that have beautiful women vying for them.”

  Cheryl patted her daughter’s hand. “It’s only natural you would be cautious and fearful of trusting after what happened with that Australian billionaire. You had one nasty surprise after the next with him.”

  Like constantly finding him with other women, then him wanting to share her with his buddies. Him making deals with her agent to pass her off for a fee. And all the drugs and gambling. That little house he’d given her in France that he’d lost on a bet. Then when she went back to his house another woman living there threw her out. What a roller coaster. “Ian only asked me to marry him to please his mother. If I hadn’t broken the engagement, I think it would have gone on for a very, very long time. Maybe forever.”

  “It’s no wonder you wanted to escape.”

  Trinity smirked. “Too bad I chose the wrong way to do it.”

  “Well, that life is over now. And Finn Brogan is a far cry from Ian.” After a beat Cheryl said, “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “What question?

  “Are you in love with Finn?”

  “Mom, I don’t want to be hurt again. Ian was so superficial that it was mostly my pride and physical well-being that got damaged. But if I let myself love Finn the way I want to deep inside, and then find out that he is lying to me and playing with me…then I can’t be sure I won’t fall apart and go backwards.”

  “You’re stronger than that, Trinity. And smarter. You know darn well pretending you don’t love Finn because you’re afraid to find out the truth is not going to make it go away.”

  Trinity blew out a sigh. “I thought about talking to a mutual friend to find out if he’s been seeing this other woman or if he’s told them about me. But Finn doesn’t open up to people, so I doubt he’s told anyone he and I were dating. And we’ve been strangers for so long that I don’t know any of his friends.”

  “What about that dance teacher you used to take classes with? Isn’t she the reason Finn is in town?”

  “You mean Casey. I thought about her. She would probably remember me since I’m the one who introduced her to Finn. A
nd since this Maya woman is dancing with Finn at her studio. But do you think she would know if they are romantically involved?”

  Cheryl rolled her eyes. “She’s a woman. And a teacher. She’ll know.”

  “But it might look like I’m going behind Finn’s back to check up on him.”

  “It absolutely will look that way because that is exactly what you’re doing.”

  “But I thought you just said—”

  “Oh, stop it, Trinity. What’s happened to you? Since when does a sophisticated—maybe even a little too sophisticated—former model who’s traveled the world fail to smell out the difference between the real deal and some trite meaningless show biz hype courtesy of an ambitious newbie? Tell me, has this Maya shown off her tramp stamp on Instagram yet?”

  “Come to think…”

  “No. Don’t you dare ‘come to think.’ That’s what your problem is. Too much thinking. You need to get outside your head and trust what you feel in your heart.”

  “But that’s just it. Ever since Ian—”

  “To hell with Ian. Finn Brogan is no bullshitting billionaire from Down Under. You listen to me, Trinity Teresa Collins. I’ve known Finn Brogan since he was a little boy. I know him the same way I know you and your brother. There isn’t a single ounce of phony baloney inside of him. If Finn were to become involved with another woman he’d be the first to tell you. He wouldn’t wait for you catch the news from some tweet or online posting. So get over it. Go to him. Tell him you’re sorry and that you love him. And hope like hell he will give you another chance.”

  Trinity sat with her mouth hanging open. Leave it to her forever-caring mother to give her the old straight talk mixed with a dose of tough love.

  When she got over her shock, she said, “Okay. I will.”

  Her mom grinned and nodded, then said, “Now, try that new Christmas cookie I brought over. I think it’s one Finn will love. In fact, you could take him a few when you go apologize.”